When one teenager revealed that her father’s wedding plans were derailed by a ridiculous request, internet commenters erupted in anger.
Redditor u/AITA9906 (also known as the original poster, or OP) wrote a now-viral post on r/AmITheA**hole in which she claimed to be the spitting image of her late mother and detailed how her stepmother took exception to this.
There have been nearly 11,500 upvotes and 1,000 comments on a post titled “[Am I the a**hole] for telling my dad what his fiancée said and causing ‘wedding troubles?'” in the last day.
My mom passed away eight years ago,” OP said. “I have her hair and eyes, and with the right makeup I can make out an almost identical copy of her face.”
The original poster went on to say that she had long felt tension with her father’s new partner, the woman he has been dating for the past three years, but that she was happy for the couple to seal the deal anyway.
The OP also revealed that she and her stepmother-stepdaughter relationship have recently worsened and that she does not feel a bond with her father’s girlfriend.
My grandfather’s mother, my father’s fiancee, and I went shopping about a week ago to get her something she had been wanting. OP continued, “It was an olive dress that matched my hair nicely… and my grandma said that I looked like my mother because she wore that color so much.” My dad’s fiancee asked if I’d be willing to dye my hair two days ago, saying that she didn’t want guests at her wedding to comment on how much I resembled my mother.
“I told [my dad] what happened and that it made me feel uncomfortable…[and] the wedding was paused because they fought and his fiancée’s family is blaming me because I caused this problem by refusing to compromise a bride’s request,” OP continued.
Stories of “bridezillas” making outlandish demands and blended families trying to find their footing can be found all over the internet.
But encounters between these spheres are relatively uncommon.
It’s difficult for kids of all ages when their parents remarry, but it can be especially trying for teenagers who have established their own identities and routines apart from their stepparent.
The natural grievance of adolescence is amplified by a second marriage, according to psychologist Carl E. Pickhardt, who wrote about this phenomenon in a 2009 article for Psychology Today.
Family relationships become strained as “differences between stepparent and teenage stepchild over household conduct… between parent and adolescent over respect for the new marriage” arise, as Pickhardt explains. It’s “becoming increasingly difficult to deny and accept incompatibilities.”
There was always some tension between the original poster and her father’s fiancée, but it was never severe enough to disrupt the family. Then, when OP was asked to dye her hair to stop looking like her deceased mother, a schism that had been brewing for a while turned into a standoff that threatened to derail the wedding.
Redditors were baffled by the idea of asking someone to look less like their mother and praised the original poster and her father for acting quickly when the request was made in the comments section of the viral Reddit post.
Reddit user u/NUT-me-top SHELL’s comment, “[Not the a**hole],” has been upvoted more than 17,000 times. ” That was such a ridiculously petty and inconsiderate request from her, I couldn’t laugh.
They went on to say, “If your father has any sense at all, he will tell his fiancée to kick rocks.”
One Reddit user, u/Admirable-Frog-3748, who has nearly 3,000 upvotes, agrees.
They said it straight out: “That woman has incredible amount of nerve to ask you to dye your hair.”
More than 2,500 people agreed with the opinion of Reddit user u/CrystalQueen3000, who said, “Her insecurities and jealousy about your mom surfaced and she made a really unreasonable request.” “She has some stuff to work through, so it’s right that the wedding has been put on hold for now.”
Newsweek has asked u/AITA9906 to comment on some issues.
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